Limit
by RussianFireworks
Summary: Even he had to have a weakness.


Shinjiro was stuck.

As always, he found his mind continuing to do the same dance routine to the same faded record that turned in circles each night as he tried to comprehend his purpose on the team he had been thrown into.

If only it weren't for Aki, basically forcing him into it, whether he'd admit to it or not.

_He joined for his own reasons._

At least, that's what he kept telling himself each night before he felt his tired eyes close and the harsh realm of drug induced sleep wash over his medicated mind.

_He always felt like something was missing._

Like a part of him that could and should be used, could never come into fruition.

It felt like a phantom limb.

Each time he reached out to use it, it would disappear from his muscles grip.

His mind wandered further still.

_He was just another soldier on the team._

He could be used, or discarded at will.

All with the silent gaze of their mysterious so called 'leader'.

Minato Arisato.

The cogs in his mind continued to painfully twist against each other.

He could feel them grating through his skull.

_This kid was excellent._

He could hold any and all weapons, he had multiple fucking personas instead of just one , unlike him, which he could barely control half the time, and he was as fearless as blue blood.

Yes.

That must be it.

The key, holding him back from unlocking his true potential, was at the hands of that fucking kid.

_Why should he have to take order from that half pint?_

He found himself questioning why he _always_ complied with his demands.

The way his lips moved in agreement with the blue haired man's words.

How his orders came so painfully easy to him.

He had some sort of lock on everyone else.

The stoic and ferocious hero.

But.

He knew.

Through the fearless orders and empty eyes,

And the stone cold demeanor that could hide even the smallest, and warmest smile

Even _he _had to have a weakness.

And so the observation continued.

Each day when he would return from school, he would try his best to greet him.

Gauge his reaction.

Read his face

His eyes.

His mind.

He would strike up conversation sometimes out of pure curiosity.

But mostly, he did it to quench the need for conversation to coincide with his insatiable obsession to understand him.

Through his quiet watching, and his one sided conversations, he began to see more of him, and less of what he wanted people to see.

He knew he was getting somewhere with his observing when he started to feel a pang of trust occasionally flitter through his dark, blue eyes when he looked back up at him after answering.

Usually, he'd just look past him; Focused on anything else that was just outside of his vision.

Making sure there was no way to see the other completely.

It would only happen every now and then.

Rare moments when they shared words together.

But slowly, it started to become cyclical.

He felt a closeness that was similar to the intimate ones he had felt before.

And he would see the way his face would relax around him.

Like all the plaster and glue would simultaneously crack away from his jaw once his face would move next to his own.

And it would lie on the floor strewn about like broken glass as they conversed into the late hours of the night together.

And he could tell when he was tired.

Or when he was actually rested.

How different voice would sound

Or how he would enunciate his words.

Or how his hair would lie on his face.

Sometimes it wouldn't lie quite the right way after school ended and he had been walking through the wind, but by the end of the night, it'd be just fine.

At times, it scared him.

How well he knew the outside of this man.

How he could remember each part of hair on his face and how it cast shadows over his eye.

And how his ribbon from his uniform lazily sat perfectly on his neck.

And at other times, he was relieved to feel the way he did.

He wanted to understand.

He wanted others to understand.

He knew how hard Minato pushed himself.

For his friends, for his colleagues.

At times it was almost sickening.

His phone would constantly be ringing, and he'd have to excuse himself from their chats together every half hour, it seemed.

He would return to the couch with tired eyes and meagerly focus them back to him.

And Shinjiro saw in his eyes, how it feels.  
_  
"I can't do this anymore."_

Yet still, he never said anything.

Whenever he asked about who called, he was given the same, docile answer.

"_A friend."_

A friend, huh?

A friend would certainly know when their counterpart is slowly being drained of their happiness at the expense of their demands.

They would know that the voice reaching them over the phone is not the one they once heard before.

They would know that the pain was doing the answering for him.

Why couldn't the other members of SEES recognize this?

He asked himself countless times, over and over again

When he felt the cogs painfully grind against each other until it screeched through his temples.

But it was then he remembered,

Just how good he was at hiding it.

Only when _he_ was around did the walls almost completely begin to fall down.

How did he act around Yukari, or even Junpei in solitude for that matter?

Each time he'd see him with the two, he'd be doing the usual smiling and nodding routine he was so accustomed to.

Just how 'himself' could he be around a guy like Junpei?

He had his suspicions about that one.

He was almost_ always_ picked to go into the dungeons when he couldn't even hold his sword properly.

Again he found himself questioning the blue haired leader.

How could someone who didn't even know how to use their weapon possibly understand any sort of turmoil that he had been through?

But he continued to put all of that past him.

And he continued with his observing and their quiet, little talks.

And then he felt it.

That overwhelming snap of worry that seemed to pump its way through his arteries whenever he knew something was wrong.

It was when Minato said goodnight a bit too early.

* * *

"Going up so soon?" Shinjiro craned his neck to see his slim figure from the couch where he sat.

It was around ten o' clock at night; the usual time when the dorm started to grow increasingly more quiet.

"I think so." Minato paused.

"Do you want me to make you some tea? I can go get some since it's my turn to walk Koro."

He gave a slow shake of his head and turned to face the stairs.

"I've actually got quite a bit of work with midterms coming up this week." He huffed. "I'd best not start slacking off now..."

"You're going to study?" Shinjiro blinked. "Now?"

"It's not _that _late yet…" Minato trailed off.

"No, it's just, every time I've fuckin' seen you, you've been studyin'." He ran a hand through his hair. "Aint you had about enough of it? I mean how much more can you possibly cram in there?" Shinjiro tapped his own forehead with two fingers.

"As much as possible, I guess." He gave a light shrug without turning around.

"Well, ah…" Shinjiro noticed his tense shoulders. "Best of luck to 'ya, man…." He felt himself try not to say that. "If you need help, I can try to assist you somehow…" He added meekly, feeling himself grow smaller.

Another nod, and Minato disappeared up the stairs.

Shinjiro leaned into the couch again and gave a passive look to Koromaru.

The lobby suddenly felt incredibly empty.

"Somethin's not right with him, boy." He sighed into his sleeves. Koromaru snuggled up to his leg and sat down immediately.

"He's been really passive recently, I mean moreso than usual." He huffed, setting his hand on top of Koromaru's head. "I think something's wrong." He gave him a few comforting pats.

Shinjiro looked to the window and out at the overcast sky.

"I have a bad feeling." He muttered as he watched the clouds move slowly across the sky.

_Just what was he doing anyways?_

_He was staying at school unreasonably late._

_He couldn't have just been studying._

_The guy's a genius, how much more studying could he possibly need to do?_

_Do the others even notice how hard he's pushing himself?_

Shinjiro felt his forehead get hot as the cogs began to grate painfully.

He sat up a bit and felt the weight on his legs increase. His eyes shifted to the happy white companion resting on his feet. He couldn't help but crack a small smile at his patience.

"Do you wanna go for your walk now?" He looked down at his faithful friend who's tail began to wag a little faster.

* * *

As much as he hoped for a miraculous comeback, the next day brought about the same amount of conversation as the night before.

Shinjiro was met with tired eyes and even darker circles as he saw him slowly meandering down the stairs with his shirt half unbuttoned and his hair tousled and flat.

He looked worse than yesterday.

"Good morning, Minato-kun!" Yukari gave him an overzealous greeting as per usual. He nodded back at her flaccidly.

"S'uuuup." Junpei groaned from the table, not looking up from his arms that his head was buried in.

Another nod.

"Yo."

Ah, he spoke.

"Your collar is crooked—" Yukari moved to him to try and fix his appearance. "Did you even shower last night?" She commented on his shockingly less voluminous hair.

He gave her an acerbic shake of the head.

He gave a robotic reply.

"Didn't have time—Was studying."

His words sounded like nails on a chalkboard to Shinjiro's ears.

"Lighten up, man." Junpei lazily called from the table. "You're like, top in the class as it is anyhow." He sighed. "Don't wanna overdo it or anything. Not like me or anything—I was up all night and I STILL cant get a grip on this shit."

"And obviously this is why you're at the top, after all." Yukari noted with a half-smile, brushing some hair out of his eyes. She was swatted away immediately. "I just wish it didn't take such a toll on your appearance." She gave a small laugh. "You alright?"

"I'm gonna catch the train early today." Minato brushed past her. "Got some things to take care of—" He trailed off as his fingers glazed over the door handle.

"See 'ya at class—" Junpei called.

"Mm."

Shinjiro exchanged glances with Akihiko, greeting him and saying goodbye simultaneously as he stood up to go back to his own room.

Suddenly, unconsciously, he found himself moving from the stove to the front door, stepping out into the cold.

His hand instinctively held out to the direction Minato had turned to.

"Hey—"

He barely turned to look his way.

"Y-Ya sure you don't want anything to eat?" Shinjiro struggled to find an audible reason for his following him out the door. "You've got lots of time before class, after all—And it's a new recipe-"

"I'm sorry, I don't have time." Minato's quiet voice reached him like a knife to his jugular. "I'll be back later on, so…" He huffed a sigh. "I'll try whatever else then, if you make it."

Shinjiro really didn't know what to say back to him, to make him stay, or even listen for that matter.

"Alright…" He felt himself exhale.

Shinjiro held him to his word.

But five hours after school let out

And there was no sign or trace of him

He began to wish he hadn't.

* * *

It was around 9:00 or so when he finally heard the door open and glanced as Minato dragged himself through the door. He was holding what appeared to be…fashion magazines?

He didn't question it.

It was probably the foreign kid's doing.

He recalled him mentioning it before.

Shinjiro listened as the members of the SEES dorm routinely welcomed him back.

He allowed his worrying to cease as he watched him shuffle to the stairs to drop his stuff off at his room only to see him return with another armful of books.

He saw him set an economics book onto the table and heard his sigh that did not go unnoticed.

Did he even have an economics class?

Or was he doing work for the student council again?

Shinjiro looked around the rest of the dorm with restlessness in his veins.

They were all gathered in their usual spots.

Yukari was, once again, the first to comment on his appearance.

"Minato-kun, have you still not showered?" She took her seat across the couch from him.

He shook his head.

"I told you earlier, I haven't the time."

"That's slightly discerning." She laughed slightly. "For god's sakes man, just run some soap through that blue mop for ten minutes or so. Doesn't have to be an hour long ordeal, y'know."

"Yeah, man, you'll probably feel better anyhow." Junpei added, coming into view from the kitchen.

"Who said I was feeling sick?" Minato defensively replied.

Shinjiro could sense his silent, brewing agitation.

It was getting worse by the second with his exhaustion quickly coming into his mind's play.

"Er—Nobody, really." Junpei blinked. "I mean, you just…sort of look like hell dude." He paused. "No offense."

"Yeah…" Yukari quietly agreed. "You sure you're alright?"

"For the last time, I'm fine." Minato grumbled, staring back at the work in front of him. "Really." He tried to coat his voice.

"If you say so." She sighed to herself, obviously not satisfied with his answer. Shinjiro saw her send a worried look to Junpei who shrugged back.

He saw a tall shadow approaching from his left and it was Mitsuru, finally coming down from her room.

"Oh, sup, Mitsuru-senpai." Junpei waved idly.

"You've been up there for a while." Yukari commented. "Been studying?"

"Of course." She tossed her hair behind her shoulder. "I feel confident enough as of now." She huffed as her gaze moved to Minato.

"Are you still at it as well?" She sounded genuinely surprised.

He gave a slow, solid nod.

"That's commendable and all, but your face is pretty pale." She stepped towards the opposite couch. "Are you tired?"

"It's not that I'm tired…"

"You need a break." She immediately responded. "At the very least—You look to be running a fever."

"Nah." He shook his head again, only eliciting more looks of concern from Junpei and Yukari.

"Arisato, I heard you sauntering about, very early this morning- you've had to have been up since 4:00 am." Mitsuru prodded. "And I know you well enough to know that you'd be continuing to do this the entire day. Plain and simple, this is unacceptable. Continuing to study at such a grueling pace since 4:00 this morning-"

He couldn't stand it any longer.

_He knew Minato was going to lie and say he'd been taking breaks._

_And resting inbetween chapters._

_And sleeping, for that matter._

_Each time he'd pass by his room, the light would still be on._

_Every time._

_He couldn't stop himself_.

He slowly moved from the kitchen into Mitsuru's earshot.

"Since two days ago." Shinjiro quietly interjected.

"Shinjiro—" Minato turned; anguish spread across his face at his betrayal. His eyes were wide and bloodshot.

Shinjiro was a bit taken aback by his diction towards him. He felt his head slowly sink into his shoulders like he had just made the world's biggest mistake.

"Give it a rest, already, idiot." Junpei stood up, towering over him. "You're gonna make yourself sick."

Yukari motionlessly looked up at him from where she sat.

"If you're having so much trouble; and feeling the need to push yourself that much—What the hell is that gonna do for you besides hurt you?"

"It's already hurting you..." Yukari added, quietly. "I can see that now."

"Why don't you just learn to not take things so hastily and accept help?" Junpei felt his hands go numb.

"I don't…need your help with—" Minato was put at a loss for words at the sudden confrontation.

Shinjiro knew his mind couldn't keep up.

"What the hell is the big secret anyway?!" Junpei's voice was getting louder.

"It's not like we all don't _know _you're the big fucking HERO." He snapped.

"Iori—" Mitsuru put a hand out to interject.

"Shut it, senpai." Junpei reeled back to face him. "Either learn to fucking act like a decent human being on your _own_, or at LEAST learn to put your trust in_ us_ for once." Junpei was getting red in the face. He was finally letting all his pent up anxiety and anger for him, on him. "Or is that too much for you, now?"

Shinjiro he didn't mean exactly what he said.

He knew the two hadn't been talking for the week of solitude he had put between himself and the rest of the team.

And he knew it was eating away at Junpei.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Minato practically growled. "How could you even insinuate that I don't trust any of you?" His words were coated with hurt.

"Your behavior now certainly isnt–"

"This isn't any of you guy's business, nor are any of you at fault." Minato shrugged himself to the side of the wall. "I just, I—"

"Then why are you acting like such a victim?" Akihiko was the first to step forward.

"Akihiko—" Mitsuru interjected again.

"Aki—" Shinjiro felt his throat close.

"Mitsuru, stop." He snapped, throwing a glare to Shinjiro as well. "He's obviously got some sort of fucking issue with us all of the sudden— He's made that pretty apparent. " His eyes were stone cold. "If you've got a problem with us—" He stared back at him. "Maybe it's best you start talking back for once."

Shinjiro knew Akihiko was hurt too.

He knew how well he treated all of them.

And for him to suddenly stop must have struck multiple nerves.

"Look." Minato slapped a hand to his forehead loudly. "I'm serious when I say that none of you are doing anything wrong, you've done nothing to upset me—I'm just really goddamn busy with—"

"Avoiding us?" Yukari prodded from her corner of the room. "I-I mean I cant be the only one to have noticed it."

"We haven't gone to Tartarus in at least a week." Akihiko added. "Since when has that ever been remotely okay? Or is Tartarus too much of a problem now?"

"AKI—" Shinjiro tried his best to let his voice be heard, but it was being drown out by the confusion of the other SEES members.

"Yeah, man, I mean if somethin's bothering you or something—" Junpei was trying to find the right words to say to him amidst the confrontations and his own bubbling anger.

"No, I-"

Fuuka could be barely heard from the left of Yukari, mumbling something about being a burden, to which Minato also managed to painfully hear.

"Do you really have such a problem with us, Minato-kun?" Yukari felt her eyes narrow as tears brimmed at the sides of her eyes.

"Wait—I just—"

"I knew something was wrong after we stopped going to Tartarus—" Akihiko hushed to Mitsuru.

"If you'll just let me explain—" Minato felt his hands slowly begin to fall from his body as he tried to reach out at his friends that were moving further and further away from his reach.

_All he could hear was their voices._

_They were swirling around him, echoing throughout his eardrums, hardly registering as anything other than white noise._

_His vision started to go dim._

_Was he crying?_

_No, he couldn't feel himself cry although he was sure his face was wet._

_All he felt was his legs._

_And how they miraculously allowed him to stand._

_And move him to the door._

_And how his shaky arms somehow allowed him to reach for the handle and pull it open as hard as he could._

_And his feet allowed him to run down the road, as far away from the noise as possible._

_As far away from the faces he couldn't look back at._

_The faces he knew he had hurt immensely._

_He didn't mean to._

_He just didn't._

Shinjiro frantically looked around at everyone letting their emotions go haywire.

He looked over at Minato who couldn't even move his limbs.

He saw how his figure was locked into place, and how his gaze couldn't move past his knees as he tried feebly to explain his absence in the past week.

He turned to look back at Akihiko, to scold him, to tell everyone to calm their heads and actually listen.

When suddenly

He saw Minato stand

And make a run for the door.

He was going to escape to jail without even having a chance to testify.

He felt his hand move in the direction of the door—

But before he could raise a finger, he heard the door slam shut.

It hurt.

He looked around breathlessly at the other members of SEES as their faces all seemed to contort in confusion and shock.

He could barely feel himself think.

"W-Wait, Minato –kun?"

"Oi-"

"Arisato—"

_Why are they all so surprised?_

_Why the fuck are they calling his name after they just invaded the man behind it just moments ago._

_He couldn't take it._

_They wouldn't even listen to Minato._

_But he'd be damned if they wouldn't listen to him._

"DON'T YOU GUYS FUCKING GET IT?" Shinjiro howled, breaking the damning silence.

The students turned to him in utter shock.

"Shin…ji?" Akihiko breathed first.

"YOU CALL YOURSELF A TEAM?" He slammed his fist to the wall beside him. It rattled under his coiled wrist.

"Oi, Shinji—"

"GANGING UP ON YOUR LEADER LIKE THAT. A MAN YOU ALL RIGHTFULLY, RESPECT." He felt his breath hitch. He couldn't even see straight. "HOW COULD YOU EVEN SAY HE HASN'T DONE ANYTHING FOR YOU." He breathed in sharp. "ONE WEEK WITHOUT HIS HELP? ONE MEASLY FUCKIN' WEEK AND YOU'VE ALL GOTTEN YOUR ASSES IN THAT MUCH OF A BIND?"

Mitsuru felt her eyes downcast.

His words were beginning to touch her first.

"DON'T YOU IDIOTS GET IT?" He threw another fist to the wall, equally as hard. "EVERYTHING. HE DOES IS FOR EVERYONE ELSE."

The team watched on in silence as he lost it in front of them.

"I USED TO QUESTION IT-I USED TO BE ANGRY WITH IT—HELL, I EVEN USED TO REFUSE TO GO ALONG WITH IT." He swallowed. "But that's because I was an IDIOT—I WAS A FUCKING _IDIOT_." His voice shook as his fist mirrored it.

"SOMEONE WHO RESPECTS YOU ALL, MORE THAN YOU CAN EVEN IMAGINE…" He put a hand to his forehead to stop the throbbing.

"All of his orders in Tartarus—they're for US." He reeled back at the team, his eyes on fire. "Who can help who—What kind of strength do WE have, TOGETHER—What types of weapons can we use to the best of OUR ability." He sent a grueling glare to Akihiko.

"You don't see US picking out shit for HIM, DO YOU?"

Fuuka let out a low wail as she put her head into her hands.

"WHY DO YOU THINK THAT IS?"

Akihiko's face began to break down a bit. Mitsuru noticed and kept her gaze away from it.

Shinjiro's glare was directed at Junpei this time.

"ITS BECAUSE WE ONLY THINK OF OURSELVES."

He saw Junpei's eyes narrow, painfully.

"_HE_ ONLY THINKS OF OURSELVES."

Shinjiro's mind immediately flashed back to the beginning of the agonizing week Minato chose to endure.

* * *

'_Shinjiro…I think I am going to put some distance between myself and everyone here."_

"…_Why's that?" Shinjiro asked as he looked away from the fireplace._

_"I just…I have so many other things to take care of-And I don't want to leave anyone with empty promises. That's my worst fear, having the ones I so dearly love, disappointed or let down in any way…"_

"…_So even you have fears too, huh." Shinjiro felt himself stifle a small laugh. He watched Minato's eyes laugh back at him before they became sober._

"_Before we got in the car that night, the weather was pretty bad. I was afraid of the storms, and the thunder, and I stayed back in the house for a while." He paused. "My parents assured me, once I was in the car that they wouldn't let anything bad happen to me."_

_Shinjiro felt his heart skip a beat._

"_They kept their promise."_

_He saw the light leave Minato's eyes for a brief moment._

"_So I vowed always to keep mine."_

* * *

"FUCKING IMBECILES." He slammed his hand on the wall a third time and straightened his hat on his head as he threw his coat over his shoulders.

"W-Wait, Shinjiro-kun—" Yukari was the first to speak at his movement.

He made sure to brush past Akihiko on his way to the door. He was met with a look of horror, and shame.

Well he had managed to instill at least that much on them.

The door slammed behind him like a bomb.

* * *

He knew where he would be.

The same place he was the last time they had walked together, what seemed like forever ago.

Naganaki shrine.

He saw his silhouette immediately after breathlessly reaching the last step.

It really hurt him to see his figure, standing so meekly in the dim light.

"I'm….sorry." He paused, physically cringing at his poor wording as he tried to catch his breath. "But… it wasn't like I was just gonna let your sacrifices go unmentioned. All of them."

Minato remained silent.

"The guys back there—" He paused again. "I…If it's any consolation for the moment, I let them know how foolish they were." He looked to his bleeding knuckles. "Trust me."

Still nothing.

"They were more confused than anything." He put his hands to his sides. "I almost had all the girls in tears—I mean I lost it pretty bad back there…" He tried to sneak a glance at his face. "Rightfully so."

Nothing.

"Come on, kid." He muttered. "You're practically killing yourself for your 'friends'. Is that really worth it to you?" He paused. "

"Pardon my asking." Minato snapped suddenly. "But what do you care for all of the sudden, exactly."

Shinjiro put a hand to his forehead and sighed. He could see the lines around and under his eyes so clearly in the blurred lights. He knew he wasn't thinking as he normally would. His voice was cold and unforgiving; a sound like a caged animal being prodded with a stick.

"And maybe, it is." Minato added sourly.

Shinjiro could sense the truth in his words, but he knew it was also coated with exhausted lies. He looked over to Koromaru who had followed him hastily, as he was hunched closer to the ground with downturned ears.

"Even the dog knows…." He muttered to himself. "Look, I'm all for self-sacrifice and nobility-but what you're doing… is just ridiculous."

"They need me."

Shinjiro's eyebrow rose.

"Not one of them can understand."

He heard his voice start to quiver.

"Not Hidetoshi, not Kenji, not Kazushi—Not Yuko, not Fuuka-san-"

Shinjiro watched him silently.

"Not Yukari, Mitsuru-senpai, not Akihiko-senpai—Not even Junpei."

"They were _all_ doing fine before you even _showed up_." Shinjiro interjected. "Look what you've turned them into-"

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Minato snapped as he turned his shoulder to throw a glare his way.

"It's _supposed_ to make you understand that you don't have to be this fucking martyr you build yourself up to be."

"I don't _make myself out_ to be anythi—"

"You've built up this reputation as the guy who can't fucking say "NO"." He snapped, widly. "To ANYTHING." Shinjiro howled. Before he knew it, his fists were clenched again.

Minato stayed silent as his face tried to register what he had heard.

"WHY." He shook as the words unexpectedly came out.

_He remembered the pain that the others had caused him._

_How they refused to understand him._

_How the doors had just been shut so quickly._

"WHY CANT YOU JUST FUCKING ASK FOR HELP when _YOU_ need it?!" He stepped forward. "IF YOU DID…YOU WOULDN'T BE IN THIS SITUATION. LOOK AT YOU. YOU'RE….A FUCKING MESS."

Minato stood up.

"YOU'RE…." His fists tightened painfully. "YOU'RE JUST LIKE AKI."

Minato took a step back.

Fire swirled in Shinjiro's eyes as he shut them sorely.

"YOU'RE….THE TYPE I HATE THE MOST."

After the last syllable slipped from his lips, he sent his fist flying into the side of Minato's jaw. He stumbled back a bit before collapsing onto his side. His weakened reflexes from the past two days wouldn't allow him to remain balanced.

"AND ANOTHER THING—"

"OH, SO YOU HAVE MORE TO SAY?" Minato snarled from the ground. "WELL GO ON, LET ME HEAR IT."

Shinjiro hadn't expected a response and paused for a second as he looked at his own shaking hand.

"Ask for help? IS THAT what you said?" He huffed. "How the hell can _I ask for help_ from the people I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING IN THE FIRST PLACE?"

Shinjiro shook his hand off and clenched his fists again.

"How would you like it if the person supporting you, turned around and suddenly asked you for support instead?" Minato's eyes brimmed with hot tears as his vision blurred.

"Y'know, Arisato, the more you talk now, the more I just want to beat the living shit out of you—"

Minato swallowed as he got up to his knees, shrieking, in a way Shinjiro hadn't heard before.

"I WON'T—I CANT AFFORD TO BE WEAK-"

But he couldn't stop himself.

His fist was sent into Minato's face a second time.

The crack was equally as hard.

"You've got a pretty warped perspective on things, kid." Shinjiro panted as he stared down at Minato who was holding the side of his jaw. "I might be a giant _fuck up_, but at least I can acknowledge that a _relationship _isn't so fucking_ one sided_." He spit to the side of Minato and tried to catch his own breath.

_All the time he had spent trying to understand him._

_All the nights they had shared together._

_And he still couldn't even understand a thing._

He turned to catch Koromaru at the side of his eyes.

"I'm going back." He sputtered.

Koromaru shuddered from where he lie at his words.

Shinjiro could read his eyes.

_"Don't go yet."_

He glanced over his shoulder to see Minato, still on the ground wiping his bloody nose onto his wrist's white sleeve, exhausted.

He must've been staring for too long because he was met with another ice cold glare from him.

"Well." He breathed as he fruitfully wiped at his nose with each sleeve try and stop the blood. "What are you waiting for." He panted.

Shinjiro took a deep breath and forced his hands to relax.

"Hold your head back to stop the bleeding."

With those parting words, Shinjiro stepped forward and made his way to the exit.

Passing Koromaru's questionable look, he gave a somber nod and moved to the bottom of the stairs.  
He sat down at the very last step and gave a huff. Shinjiro felt chilled as he watched his breath turn to smoke and rise into the night sky.

"I lost my temper, again…" he paused, looking at the stars. "That's twice tonight." He felt his knuckles twinge in his pockets.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, only for him to read a single text from Akihiko.

"Please. Somehow, let him know that, we're sorry."

"So things back there are finally simmering down." He muttered. "Idiots."

He studied his surroundings and knew that he wouldn't be able to go home just yet.

Even though things at the dorm were returning to normal

And the entire team was drowning in their shallow remorse

He knew that he had failed his mission.

He knew that he had fucked up again.

When he went to talk, he brought an axe instead.

When he wanted to negotiate, he instead shot bullets.

Maybe he was the one who didn't understand.

Maybe he hadn't been able to understand him because he still didn't understand himself.

Maybe he wasn't ready to understand.

Maybe he never would be.

But what he did know.

Was that atop of the hill of stairs above him,

Their brave, shielded, blue haired leader

The one whom he had gained trust,

And respect,

Had rightfully

And earnestly,

Reached his limit.

And as such,

It was about ten minutes before his ears were filled with an ear piercing scream that slowly quieted itself to pitiful sounding sobs.

He gave himself about ten minutes before deciding to go back up there and survey the damage.

Eleven minutes passed and he had reached the last step.

Expecting the worst, he saw it.

Minato's cold, unmoving body lying motionless under the light.

He had given his final breath for the night, painfully letting out everything he had.

Shinjiro walked over to him with Koromaru at his heel.

He noticed that his sleeves and face were stained with his own blood as he handed his jacket to Koromaru to carry.

He noticed how he had lost some weight since last week as he slung him over his own shoulders.

And he noticed how the only peace he would feel that night, were his own, slow, choppy breaths.

Would he tell the rest of the team what happened at the shrine?

He didn't know yet.

But he certainly hoped after this all blew over

And the team reconciled

He could meet with him near the fireplace

And enjoy the silence once again.

* * *

Shinjiro set him down on the first couch at the dorm's entrance and stood back to survey the passed out boy.

"Idiot." He felt his teeth gnash against each other. "If you were having that much trouble, why didn't you just speak up in the fucking first place."

Koromaru slowly moved next to Shinjiro and pawed at his leg. A low whimper rose from his throat.  
He knelt down and pet his head gently.

"He ain't gonna want the others to know about what happened back there. Those were some pretty intimate thoughts…" His hand moved behind his ears. "If anything, he's lucky they didn't all dash out after him." He sighed. "He'd never live it down."

Shinjiro looked back over at him, remembering what he had told him about his parents.

"I do understand though, his thought process." He felt his frown deepen. "It's just the way your mind works after you experience true trauma."

He knelt down next to him.

"He looks extremely pale."

Koromaru gave him a quiet whimper again.

"He's probably pretty sick." Shinjiro put a thumb to his temple and then to Minato's forehead. "As I d Mitsuru the great thought…Running a fever."

Koromaru remained silent.

"What should we do? Should we let the little martyr idiot sleep it off?"

Koromaru gave a stern look.

Well, stern for a dog.

Shinjiro laughed lightly.

"No, I don't think he's a literal idiot, but…" He glanced at his bloodied sleeves as he felt his eyes begin to sting.

"Know when you've reached your fuckin' limit."

* * *

_He knew._

_Through the fearless orders and empty eyes,_

_And the stone cold demeanor that could hide even the smallest, and warmest smile_

_Even he had to have a weakness._

_And that weakness_

_Was himself._


End file.
